INTJ Stereotypes I Don’t Like
If you’re an INTJ, you’ve heard it all before. INTJs are . . . different. Unlike other Myers-Briggs types, this cognition style is above average intellect, below average social skills. Wait, what? Who comes up with this stuff? Last week, I wrote about INTJ Stereotypes I Do like. This week, it’s INTJ stereotypes I don’t like.
INTJs are arrogant jerks – I see this one so often I’ve become bored by it. At first I was mildly offended. I couldn’t help but to engage in a bit of self-analysis. Am I arrogant? I might be arrogant about some things, but at the same time if you aren’t arrogant—replace that with confident—about something, then maybe you’re a victim of low self-esteem. Arrogance is the negative form of confidence. I’m sure there are INTJs who are confident to the point of arrogance, but how is that different from any other MBTI type? Confidence and arrogance are not exclusive to INTJs. A more accurate statement is that INTJs know what they know, and they are confident in that knowledge. As for INTJs being jerks, brusque, maybe; but for most people, including INTJs, being a jerk is more a matter of what is expected and what is accepted given a cultural context. Before labeling any cognition group, consider the culture. I personally try to be civil to everyone. It’s a waste of time to be a jerk. Burning bridges and indulging in unprofessional behavior is a sign of poor judgement and immaturity, two traits of which INTJs are rarely accused, so the arrogant jerk label makes little sense.
Don’t Like Surprises – There are some surprises that no one likes. But who doesn’t like a good surprise? Of all the Myers-Briggs types, INTJs love a good surprise (this doesn’t include interrupting plans that are already in place). You wanna know why? Because things rarely surprise us. Maybe that is the source of the stereotype because even if an INTJ is surprised you may not get much reaction. We keep a lot of things inside, including exuberant reactions. The INTJs’ dominant function is introverted intuition. Our inferior function is extroverted sensing; therefore, it’s hard to be in the moment. Often, it is not until after the day has ended that INTJs, winding down to go to sleep, find themselves bombarded by data connections collected throughout the day by introverted intuition. To see an INTJ’s surprise you would have to have a hidden night vision camera in their room to see them finally register it!
INTJ’s are not romantic – I admit it. There is a part of me that is very romantic. There’s a part of me that believes in perfect love, in dancing beneath a moonlit sky, and in flowers and chocolates (heck, I believe in chocolate without the love and romance). On the other hand, as an emotion, love is pretty impractical. Beyond that, I have standards of reasonable behavior so I’m not sure I could be super gooey or mushy; but romance doesn’t have to be about silliness or mushiness. The people I care about know that I work hard to understand them. I remember their likes and dislikes. I make an effort to listen, and to be present when we’re together. So, while I like the idea that I’m not a “romantic,” I think that a lot of the stereotype is about over-the-top craziness that can accompany romantic relationships. These “mating” displays may act as romance to some cognitions, but to many INTJs, romance is more about compatibility, commitment, genuine interest, and the practicalities of everyday togetherness. These qualities represent the highest level of romance for the INTJ cognition.
INTJs are not empathetic-Your need for empathy is not my problem. Just kidding. However, this is another unfathomable stereotype about INTJ cognition. The truth is that many INTJs are very adept at reading emotions, especially the emotions of those close to us. Introverted intuition picks up on general feelings, giving an INTJ the sense of a situation. INTJs are introverted feelers, which is related to inner feelings. Therefore, if an INTJ has experienced a similar situation, emotions, feelings, etc., they will really have empathy for you. This works in tandem with intuition, which helps an INTJ intuit information, even for experiences they haven’t had. This is a form of empathy, though INTJs may not express their insight or empathy because it could be inappropriate to the person in need of empathy; it could be embarrassing to the INTJ; it could be expressed, but misunderstood because of the lack of empathetic language. From this perspective, understanding and insight may be better markers of empathy than shallow expressions of sympathy. As for the INTJ, the surge of emotions related to offering true empathy can be overwhelming and stressful. An INTJ will likely try to show empathy by sharing a similar experience and offering advice and solutions. If you’re looking for emotional outburst on your behalf, words of encouragement, and sympathetic tears, that’s not going to happen. However, if you really need a hug and you tell your INTJ friend, they’ll probably give you a brief one, as well as twelve solutions to your dilemma.
INTJs don’t like fashion– I couldn’t end this post without addressing the inspiration for my starting a fashion blog. The stereotype that INTJs, particularly INTJ females, have no interest in fashion is untrue. First, we need to address the difference between the two words. Fashion has a few synonyms, but in this instance, I will use the word to represent trends. Style, on the other hand, is subjective. While an INTJ may not keep up with or have interest in current trends, they are picky about what they wear and why, much like any other person would be. Is it comfortable? Is it practical? These are just two of the criteria INTJs look for in fashion. Check out my elusive fashion habits of the INTJ female for more on this subject.
There you have it, INTJ stereotypes that I dislike. Are these the worst INTJ stereotypes? Are there others you hate that I didn’t cover? Let’s discuss the reasons behind stereotypes and unpack the flawed reasoning.
Don’t forget to check out, “The Elusive Fashion Habits of the INTJ Female: part 1.”