Though it may take a bit of time, we always try to answer questions that we get on the website. Sometimes those questions come in the form of searches. One of the more recent site searches went something like: Why Don’t People Like INTJ Females?
Hmmm. For me, this is one of those questions that hints more at what INTJ females project to others about how we are perceived, than it is a reflection of some INTJ female flaw. As a member of several INTJ female-focused groups, I’ve found that, as a whole, INTJ females are a pretty spectacular group of people. They are genuine, focused, intelligent, and capable. On the other hand, they are also very aware of how different they are from the standard of femininity in American culture. That hyper-sensitivity to falling short of an “ideal” is, I think, one of the reasons that INTJ females tend to gravitate toward and to promote dark humor that focuses on INTJ-female attributes not perceived as positive in women: sarcasm, emotionless logic, dislike of inefficiency, lack of patience with small-talk. None of these attributes are considered negative when applied to men (who doesn’t love Spock?). Yet, as mentioned in a previous post, women are judged when we don’t exhibit these traits, and we are judged (sometimes even more harshly) when we do. Why do people dislike INTJ females? There’s really no reason for such dislike, and I don’t believe that people do dislike INTJ females; instead, it’s a socialization issue. Many people are uncomfortable with girls who think. INTJ girls pick up on this discomfort. They grow up with it, maybe not from parents, but from society. Many INTJ girls grow into women who deal with social anxiety and/or depression related to their awareness of how different they are from societal expectations. Yet, what’s so bad about INTJ females? We react appropriately, rather than emotionally. We plan, manage and execute with the same type of informed reasoning as would any highly qualified individual, regardless of gender. These aren’t bad things, but growing up as an INTJ girl can create an internal struggle between who society says we should be, and who we actually are. As long as silliness, physical weakness, and mental feebleness are held as the ideal attributes for women, that struggle will continue. It is amazing, given the wealth of evidence available to us, that women are still perceived as less capable of logic. Also surprising is that there seems to be a renewed attack on the capability of females (see here), and Here.
Though there has been little mention of it on this blog, March is Women’s History Month. Because this is a blog focused on both fashion style and cognition style, I don’t often like to mix in politics. However, I don’t want to let March “go out like a lamb” without a nod to the perspective that gives this particular blog its focus. The fact that I am not only an INTJ but, more importantly, an INTJ female, is the fire that drives my perspectives for the blog. Honestly, I love being a part of this unapologetically smart girl tribe. Now, more than ever, it’s important that we remind ourselves of why we should love our minds, why we should encourage learning, and promote thinking for yourself. Being a INTJ female is awesome, and if you need a reminder as to why, I’ve got you covered with 5 Reasons Why Being an INTJ Female is Great!
Our Minds, Our Pride
INTJs females are all about the mind. We tend to be lifetime learners, dedicated to self-improvement. This commitment to continuous learning is an important group attribute because no matter how beautiful an INTJ female may be, physical appearance is the least of her concerns (sacrilege, I know, from a fashion blogger). Sometimes, our focus on learning comes into sharp contrast with cultural norms (for example, this girl who was complimented for her beauty after winning a spelling bee), leading to a feeling of being out-of-step with everyone else. However, we should be proud of our dedication to learning (whether that learning is self-taught, or the result of traditional schooling). Education is one of the few protections that helps to shield us from unreasonable expectations placed on us as women. Certainly, there are times that the reach for education may feel like a battle, but at the end of the day, that reach for self-improvement, and increased knowledge and understand can change your own life, as well as impacting your family, your community, and sometimes, your world. So continue to take pride, INTJ females, and continue to grow your most powerful tool, your mastermind.
Engaging and Industrious
Because INTJ females are always learning, they are engaging, interesting people (especially if you can get them on a topic about which they are passionate). When INTJ females aren’t talking, they are listening, or learning. With such active minds, you can always be sure that something is going on beneath the surface, though it rarely shows on the outside. Through my interactions with INTJ females, I’ve found them, as a group, to be interesting, humorous (shared sense of humor, I guess), and knowledgeable. So, through this highly unscientific method of opinion polling (my own), I can assure anyone reading this blog that INTJs are great conversation partners, highly imaginative, and packed full of useful details. INTJ females are not your average, follow-the-herd type. The need to think different means that they tend to have done a lot of interesting and crazy things, whether it be unique lifestyles, or crazy experiences. Contrary to appearances, we’ve checked to see what was around the block, so you just never know an INTJ female until you know an INTJ female.
The Intimidation Factor
Being intimidating is great? This is a tough one, because it can also be a negative aspect of being an INTJ female, but ultimately, I believe being intimidating can also be a privilege. Why should being intelligent and capable woman (with perhaps an intense stare) be intimidating? The societal contract requires that humans defuse any hint of threat; yet for women, the ability to broadcast power and boundaries isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I’m not inclined to feel too bad about another’s feelings of intimidation. I do tend to think those who are intimidated by INTJ females are reacting from their own personal insecurity, as opposed to anything an INTJ female might communicate. If someone is intimidated by an INTJ’s level of competency, well that’s a badge of honor. And while being intimidating might keep really awesome people away, it may also keep major losers away. It acts as a shield of sorts. So, while I don’t condone purposely intimidating others, INTJ females shouldn’t dim their natural selves for fear of scaring others off. That’s a recipe for unhappiness.
Being independent in spirit is great. This independent nature goes beyond autonomy in the sense of having business handled, it also denotes an independence of mind and spirit. There are numerous reasons why not conforming to group think and the mainstream cultural standards is great. For the INTJ, this independence of thought helps us to come up with outside-of-the-box solutions. It isn’t easy to go your own way, so cultivating this trait as a strength is important for INTJ females.
Ambitious but Chill
INTJ females are ambitious girls, but at the same time, we are pretty easy going. This makes for an odd, but awesome combo of intensity and indifference. We are both high-achieving and low maintenance. We don’t hold others to the same standards that we place on ourselves, unless there is a direct impact on us. So, one of the great things about being an INTJ female is that most of us set high standards for ourselves, in those areas for which we have a passion, but we don’t expect others to match us. INTJ females, high-achieving, yet really chill.
There are many more reasons that being an INTJ female is great, but hopefully, the above five reasons will remind you that being a part of the INTJ tribe is a great thing. It’s not egotistical to be proud of being a learner and a thinker. These are traits that anyone should take pride in, no matter their gender. For INTJ females, raised in a society where beauty is prized over intellect, the pursuit of learning and knowledge often comes with a price, and those who make the choice to do so not only benefit themselves, but also others.