Siblings can be a real pain sometimes, but, if you’re lucky, they can also be one of the best gifts in life. They’ve seen you at your best . . . and worst. They stand up for you when things get tough. They challenge you to be the best you that you can be. I’ve read a few articles discussing what it’s like to have an INTJ as siblings, but I have yet to see a discussion about growing up with two INTJs as the sibling dynamic. I am the proud, older (but shorter) INTJ sister to an INTJ brother, so I thought I would try and tackle this rarely discussed aspect of growing up INTJ. My INTJ sibling is not only my brother, he is also one of the best friends I could have ever asked for. Yes, the comment is high praise coming from an INTJ; but, there’s nothing quite like having someone else not only know you, but get you.
So why is it so great to be an INTJ with another INTJ sibling? Read on!
Table of Contents
Driven by introverted intuition, INTJ cognition is characterized by theoretical thinking, data collection, and possibility creation. In addition, our extroverted thinking loves to streamline, organize, structure, and create systems. This style of cognition can sometimes make talking with others a bit of a challenge as they struggle to keep up with an INTJ’s store of data that has been organized and structured into a complex worldview characterized by theoretical possibilities. For example, my INTJ sibling and I have a multitude of inside jokes, crackpot theories, pop culture references, code words, and catchphrases. To others, it often appears that we are speaking another language, or that we are exceptionally close. While it’s true that we are close, a shared cognition style, especially the intuition aspect, allows us to quickly guess where the other is going. A simple phrase can be embedded with multiple nuanced meanings. We just get each other. Obviously, it’s human nature to be drawn to like-minded people; however, it can be hard for INTJs to communicate the entirety of meaning to other cognition styles, it’s a relief to have someone with whom communication of thoughts and ideas is easy. While we may approach things a little differently as individuals and because of gender differences, we usually come to the same conclusions. As siblings,we have a mind-to-mind connection, something for which I am truly grateful.
2. We’re Siblings Who Geek Together
Let’s just be honest, all INTJs are geeks about something. The thing is, no one wants to wave their geek flag until they know they can trust the other person, so it can be hard to find people to nerd out with over Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, or whatever geekdom you belong to. Even if you meet someone with similar interests, there’s still that getting to know you period where you can’t let on that you’re the cosplay love child of Saruman and Zelda, lest you scare them off with your meticulously codified head cannon, your complex fan theories, sub-textual readings, and analysis. Not so with an INTJ sibling. I can be my full INTJ self with my brother. Together we analyze, discuss, and theorize to our hearts’ content about things no one else cares about except us. I know that I don’t have to worry about boring him or wonder if my ideas are too crazy. Every crazy idea will be met with thoughtful consideration,discussion on the correctness of, or feasibility of the theory, followed by theory expansion and further analysis. As siblings who geek together, our INTJ cognition style puts us perfectly in sync.
3. We’re Learners and Teachers
Oftentimes, you can recognize a young INTJ by how often they utter this single word: Why? Why is the sky blue? Why does it rain? Why? Why? Why? While this type of information gathering can be a source of frustration for over-worked parents, it’s a type of Nirvana for INTJ siblings. Instead of exploring the world alone, you have a partner to explore the world with you. Of course, my sibling and I have some shared interests, but we also have many differing interests. For our shared interests, I have someone who enjoys the process of learning as much as I do. For those interests that are different, it’s great to have access to a knowledge base that is as deep and varied as my own. Being INTJ siblings means that you have someone to share your love of learning something new; and who is also happy to teach you what they know. Being a learner and a student is one of the ultimate INTJ sibling benefits, especially as we grow both in knowledge, and in character.
4. Being INTJ Siblings Means Never Having to Say My Emotions Got In The Way
Emotions. We all have them. Pesky things, emotions can cause any number of issues. More than likely, differing cognition styles act as a source of tension between siblings. Luckily, as INTJ siblings, my brother and I can read each other. When one of us is experiencing a FEELING, the other knows to approach with care. Being INTJ siblings also means that it’s easier to navigate affection, alone time, and other needs associated with the human state. Being balanced in terms of emotional energy helps us to work in tandem to communicate the thought process behind the rare emotion a sibling might express. INTJs can have difficulty understanding their own emotions, so having another INTJ as a sounding board to theorize the reason for the emotion allows us to help each other to not overthink. One of the hardest things that the extroverted thinker has to do is to understand the logic behind an emotion. Facing that logic can be daunting though, because as rationals, we use external support for rationale building. Having someone just know how you feel about feelings (whether you want to talk, or not), and who won’t make you feel stupid or embarrassed while you puzzle it out is one reason why having an INTJ sibling means never having to say your emotions got in the way.
Of course being INTJ siblings isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. There are some challenging aspects of having an INTJ sibling. Be sure to check out The Tribulations of Being INTJ Sibling.
Also, be sure to check out INTJ Gaming here! (My brother and I do let’s plays of video games on his YouTube channel).